West Antarctic Ice Shelf

        WAIS Divide is a field camp about a thousand miles away from McMurdo. The flight there takes three and a half hours in a Herc military plane that is made to store pallets and cargo, people being strapped to the sides on net seats. The flight is similar to a flight from Florida to New York, if the two had nothing else in between. A little over a mile in elevation, WAIS is a research camp that studies ice core samples for age, gas, and climate change. These facts are then applied to current climate conditions to gage the effects of global warming all over the planet.
         When you arrive at WAIS you will need to be wearing full ECW gear. While McMurdo experiences warm temperatures in the 30's, the same time of year leaves WAIS around 0. With the barren expanse of flat windblown snow drifts and nothing else for as far as the eye can see, be sure to prepare for wind sheers reaching -45.
          You will be welcomed when you get off the plane by ten to twenty people all there smiling and waving. You won't know half of them, but as they spend three months here together in isolation, watching the planes land and welcoming people to camp becomes the social event of the week. If you are one who shies away at new social groups, go into one of the five or six outhouses for some helpful tips. The locals have covered the walls with wonderful pieces of advice which will get you through your pitfalls with some wisdom, or at least a hint of empathy.

"By keeping it light the heavy can be handled"

              If you've been scrubbing dishes, mopping floors, and putting out food for eleven hours a day like myself, you will be ready to jump into the galley and get the job rolling. You then may be shocked to hear things like "9 to 6" and "Take a break whenever you need one." The proper response to this is of course two days of asking if there really is nothing else you can be doing until you finally get the hint and relax. Dishes, garbage, and floors are taken care of by the house mice, or town people, every meal and the only duties you really have are clean the pots and shovel snow.

"Kissing is like drinking salted water,

The more you have it

The thirstier you become."

"When I drink salty water I get diarrhea."

             Shoveling snow will turn out to be much more important than just keeping your tent from caving in. "Clean snow" will be bulldozed up from the outer areas of camp. You then shovel snow into a clean large garbage bin and drag it to the door and inside where it then needs to be lifted up and poured into a melting tub. Once the three or four loads it takes to top the tub off are in then you can pump water into the holding tank that feeds into the sinks, showers, and dish steamer. If showers or laundry are available, you must first add the necessary amount of snow to run the processes. If you don't come out of this experience with a new appreciation for water conservation, as well as weight lifting, you've done it wrong.

"Sex at Noon Taxes"

              Although you are doing the same job that you are beginning to hate a little more each day, it is important to focus on the positive. For example, being in a portable kitchen no bigger than one in a house leaves you cleaning pots and pans the size of normal pots and pans. No more 50lbs industrial mixing bowls here, just the usual sized with a regular sink and even a window to gaze out of. The kitchen staff will be you, Russ'el, Rosemary, and Kody, three very amazing cooks who are capable of producing options that will cause you to gain 5lbs in nine days.

"A mind is a terrible thing to WAIS"

            While you are breaking and trying not to get on the cooks' nerves by offering more help, take some time to enjoy the galley tent. It's about 40ft long and attached to the kitchen mod. Here you can relax at the red and white checkered tables, drink tea, and have one of the many snack options of the day. Read, zone out, or chat with other's coming in to warm up by the stove heaters. If you're feeling more active, the crescent moon tent supports are good for climbing from the floor, up, across and back to the other side. Exercises that keeps the mind invested.

"Sexual frustration graph project-

Please initial appropriate week and level"

             If you are lucky you could get a tour of the science facility here. The Arch was built in 2006 on the surface of the ice. In 2012 it is now so buried by snow drifts that one can drive heavy machinery over it. Walking down a steep ice slope gets you to the door that opens up into a giant frozen underground bunker. It is the closest I'll ever get to being on Hoth. A lofty bright metal arched ceiling running the length of an air bunker, The Arch is a frozen lab complete with a 30ft crevasse cut out of the floor into the ice below. The drill here is one complicated piece of equipment taking days to get down into the ice to pull out samples dating back into 1600's. They then take a look at the pressure lines and bubbles in the ice. Since the ice is porous, the ice itself is from the colonization of America, while the air dates back to the Industrial Revolution. The sample shows spikes in methane and carbon dioxide, which is recorded and then put in to use as data for aging other ice samples around the world. The facility, buried under heaps of snow, is still refrigerated to keep the samples as cold as possible and ice and frost hang from most surfaces. 

"Someday an archaeologist is going to be excavating this shit hole and find my sunglasses and wonder 'what the fuck?'"

               Another science excursion you can take is going out to the snow trench. A hole carved just over two meters deep, squared off with chainsaws and covered with plywood. Then about a foot on the other side of the hole pits are dug to let in light. This creates a glowing blue room under the surface that lets in enough light to observe the patterns of snow fall for years at a time. Like looking at sediment, you can see the effect the environment had on the surface and where abnormal patterns occur. As you get lower, the snow compacts and becomes bluer, denser, and one more step closer to solid ice.

"Haiku's are awesome

Sometimes they do not make sense

Refrigerator "

                  After seeing the snow trench you can take a walk out to where the practice ice core samples are discarded. Then, as is custom at WAIS, play baseball with 400yo ice sticks. After exploding a few centuries of natural history load up the snowmobiles and the sleds they pull that you rode in on with more samples to carve into ice shot glasses for later that night. The ride back, much like tubing behind a speed boat, may get a little dull staring at snow going by at high speeds. If there are two ski doos pulling people on sleds, make a fun high speed snowball fight out of it, sled vs sled.

"This place smells like heaven"

                 There are weird mythical situations that happen out in the middle of the ice. A pink unicorn trafficking in military planes was the first sign that I wasn't in reality anymore. Fog in this kind of climate is really just ice crystals blowing in the wind. They're a tween's dream. Glittery flecks of ice making everything sparkle. To add to it the ice in the air created sun dogs, which are full rainbows that circle the sun. If you're lucky you get a light pillar from these which turn the sky into a giant bright keyhole, with a bright beam of light hitting the horizon.

"It’s hard to soar with the eagles when you work for turkeys"

                 Once the day is over and dinner is served it's time for some r&r. While McMurdo's big city life may include internet, the bar scene, and socializing with everyone, WAIS Divide finds different ways to let off steam. B movies projected for the galley to watch while other's play hearts, cribbage, or board games is a common night. On the more spirited evenings ice cups full of Jameson and Glenlivet are passed around before competitions like getting over, under, and back on a table without touching the floor begin. This would also be the night tent support climbing can be witnessed. If the galley doesn't suit, the medical mod is always a great place for sitting around as a group of twenty something and singing along to acoustic versions of "Hey Ya" played by Russ'el on his guitar and going around and making up song lyrics for a run on story about squirrels. Because of hard work and full stomachs, the group usually taps out by eleven.

"Remember it’s better to pee in your water bottle than drink from your pee bottle"

              Going to bed includes a march to Tent City and deciphering which yellow tent out of thirty was yours. It may take some time, but you get the hang of it. Shovel your tent out of the snow that has drifted around it as the day has progressed and get into three layers of clothes, a fleece bag, and then into the -40 sleeping bag. Make sure you've peed at the peegloo built as a urinal. If sharp flakes of ice whipping at your scrotum in below freezing wind doesn't appeal, there's always sitting in the outhouse, no standing allowed. The sun will be glowing through the tent, but if you burrow down enough in your bag it won't matter. You'll want to anyway, your nose will be cold.

"How do you enjoy your morning constitution with a -20 breeze blowing up your ass?"

               When you wake up everything will seem darker. It will also be louder because the wind from Con 2 conditions will be blowing the crap out of your tent and smacking it with snow. With 1/8 a mile visibility and 25knot winds it is acceptable to sleep in and wait it out for better, safer weather. When you get to the point where both the full pee bottle and water bottle are solid ice and your stomach starts rolling from hunger you should muster the motivation to pull yourself out of the layers of warmth and put on the cold coveralls, jacket, pairs of gloves, bunny boots, gator, hat, and goggles to venture out. If you are prepared with no skin showing it feels pretty warm, but that doesn't stop you from having to kick your way out of the wall of snow that has built up around your tent and crawl out of the small opening trying not to let a mound of ice fall in.

"Experience is not what happens to a man; it’s what a man does with what happens to him…"

                Once you get to the galley tent everyone has accumulated in you play the cabin fever game. There are only so many card games and old magazines that can hold you over till you suit up and make it a point to visit every outhouse in camp and write down your favorite one liners. It's also a good time to really experience what Antarctica has to offer in terms of severe weather, and what the NSF has to offer for warm clothes. Put the clothes to the test and you'll be impressed.

"The boat may be a confined space but from it the horizon is endless…

WAIS may be a confined space but from it… you can’t get anywhere Jack."

                If you're as lucky as me, your Antarctic vacation will be prolonged due to two days of severe weather and you'll have a few more days with really great people in a really positive atmosphere.

"A good listener is not only popular with everyone, but after a while actually knows something."

                 I was really impressed with the leadership and how much the camp respected the director and manager. The group as a whole wasn't fed up with each other but totally at peace with living day to day and maybe not getting out of there for weeks. Scheduled to get out this week, sixteen people flew back with me. The entire place should be shut down and packed away by the end of the week and it was impressive to see how efficient they were at making thing disappear around us. Really happy I had this opportunity I brought back ice core samples to share at the bar with the rest of the DA's, including some from the Taylor glacier that are 120,000 yo. Pam, I think that counts as old ice with my drink.

Until next time,

Chris

A few more of my favorites sharing the experience of sitting over a deep hole in the ice:

"Don’t touch the seat with your dick

You may be sorry because it’ll stick"

"I have a dream and this isn’t it."

"Shitting on this awful ice sheet

 I freeze my ass to the seat

Though I have work to do

I’m stuck atop all this poo

Gazing ruefully down at my feet"

"It’s so cold,

I haven’t seen my balls in days

I hope they are still there"

"Spell PIG backward and say funny"

"I am worried… for I fear I may have shat my lower intestine into this awful abyss"




"Here I sit all broken hearted, came to shit but only farted"

 

 

 

"Mother Nature may we call a truce?

I’m here trying to have a duce

But the wind you send swirling

Has all my toes curling

And it won’t let my sphincter be loose"

 

 

 

"Field Camp Janos!

Scrubbing frozen feces with a smile since 2011"

 

 

 

 "Big Trubs"

Thirteen Miles and Counting

            I ran my first half marathon today, two hours and thirteen minutes. The course for the marathon was from Scott base to mile marker 14 on the ice shelf and back. There were full and half marathoners for both running and skiing. The half marathon people were taxied out to the air strip (14 miles out) and started at the turn around point. I ran with one of my friends who just got back from three months at field camp. We kicked ass and stayed away, for the most part, from the temptations at each rest stop. The first had Kahlua and coffee, second had brats and beer, and the third Jack Daniels and port wine. I only had a beer with a frozen snickers, which neither were pre-cooled seeing as it was about 17 degrees out today.
           Overall it was a BLAST! Getting out there where everything is flat and solid scared me at first because of the supposed monotony of the scenery. Luckily we had a clear day and could see the mountain ranges around us. I'd like to thank The Rolling Stones, Derrick Scott III and the A218 Band, Alanis Morissette, Tenacious D, and all the other artists that kept me from slowing to a walk or letting my mind get bored and lose the push to finish. Unfortunately the adelie penguins did not show up to follow the movement like they did last year, crossing the finish line with runners. No shows aside, it was still awesome to cheer on others and have a great sense of camaraderie during the whole thing.
             
             My turn at field camp has arrived! I am set to go to WAIS Divide tomorrow morning and come back in a week. I've packed all of my ECW gear and done my bag drag so all I have to do now is wake up and make it on the plane. Excited to get a vacation away from the "big city" and all that comes with it.
             I will miss working as a bartender for a while. I've been picking up a lot of shifts lately and have started getting creative. Along with shots and mixers, as a bartender we are allowed to bring in some of our own stuff and make custom drinks. these usually are very popular as people aren't used to the option and at this point are craving anything fancy, meaning wine out of a glass instead of a plastic cup.

Here are three great drink options you can find in Antarctica:

Thai Tini 
         Vanilla beans, black tea, anise, and cinnamon brewed together
         Add tea to condensed milk, heavy cream, and a heap of sugar
         Shake well with a shot of vodka and ice, serve in a martini glass

Bell Pepper Margarita (inspired by Seattle experience)
         1/4 red bell pepper cut into thin slits
         Muddle pepper with half a lime and add tequila shot and shake with ice
         Serve on the rocks with a splash of club soda

Beef Blood Jello Shots (not yet sold, still testing it out)
         Cherry Jello with a pan of beef blood added while still hot
         Vodka (or whatever) added and let cool
         Texture will be creamier, but taste will remain cherry (enjoy the extra protein)

Will be sure to come back with stories from field camp and life off of the island and on the actual continent.

Till next time,
Chris

It's A Harsh Continent

       When you first get here all the training videos and posters start by reminding the watchers and  readers that "Antarctica is a harsh continent....." It's usually followed by how the climate and landscape can kill you in about thirty different ways and one little f-up could be it for you. Up until now the worst things I've been aware of are leg injuries. One from a slip and fall and one from a seal rolling over on a girl's leg. Talk about strength through mass.
       At this point to say the galley staff is getting jaded and over it would be an understatement. The months of scrubbing pots, hearing people complain about the food, and LONG hours has caused us to adopt the catch frase from the safety videos. "You don't like the gluten free, vegetarian option? Tough shit, it's a harsh continent." "The music in the bar isn't what you and your drunk friend want to listen to? Harsh continent, get out m'office." "Paper cut...... Well it's a harsh continent isn't it?"
        It's this status quo that makes us all live in a state of whatever. We recently got six new DA's to replace the few that have dropped out or been changed over to prep cooks. It is nice to see someone with the enthusiasm we all had four months ago when it was all new and exciting. At this point the hikes have been memorized and the pictures of white have finally blurred together. When the new people ask us about what to do and where to go, it's hard to not say "Eh, I'd rather just watch a movie and have some down time." It is nice to say I've reached my goal of having monotony in Antarctica.
        And to break that bland streak? Become part of the third top dodge ball team on the continent!!! We were so bad ass, five DA's and a salad chef went through five rounds before finally being knocked out of the competition by the Helo Tech team. They also went on to take down the Jano's to claim victory and take the title. It was crazy fun, competitive beer induced hilarity and I got out some aggression. Our team's uniform was some sort of short shorts or spandex and free dancing to the music while the match was going. While this may sound flamboyant, the helicopter pilots and technicians were the pink team so you can guess the general idea behind the majority of the team's uniforms. After the match we had to take a picture around the dignity trash bin and do celebratory shots and dance the night away.
         While the harsh continent only offers so many food options, it has been known to provide very decadent moments of hedonistic gluttony. Example, the galley appreciation party in Hut 10. Two tubs of lobster tails and a mountain of rib eyes. The only stipulation was we had to cook them out selves, but we could eat as much as we wanted. I never thought of lobster tail as finger food, but by the fourth tail I had eaten like a chicken wing I was convinced the mini forks and shell crackers were just filler for fancy restaurants. Given the money it took to fly them down and store them for who knows how long, this will probably be the most expensive meal of my life.
          If shellfish and steak doesn't do it for you, I recently had a porch picnic. Nine at night with clear blue skies and the sun hinting at setting (losing 15min of sunlight a day at this point, yet still no darkness) sitting on industrial grating and fifty y/o plastic chairs. We managed to procure three types of cheese (favorite being the aged Gouda), a truffle sausage, dark chocolate, a fresh peach and apple, loaf of bread and a bottle of Wilridge Barbara from Washington. Although it was about 33 degrees outside, in the sun it felt like sweatshirt weather and as we looked over the view of the ice shelf, mountains, and industrial fuel tanks I thought about how with the proper friends in low places and preparedness of bringing bottles with you, you can make a great night of it anywhere.
          There are other great stories about good food here, but most include Cheetos packaged in 2006 and how no other vintage will ever hold a candle.
         Now I said "until now" earlier. We were informed this morning that a Korean vessel near Palmer station caught fire. There were eight injured and a couple of deaths. The injured people are three thousand miles away and still being brought here because it is the closest place to get help. They are helicoptering them in to be stabilized and then going to medivac them off the continent. It's weird to think that being on the South American side of the continent still gets you a ticket to New Zealand if injured, but that is how few and far between our little towns are.
         For now our redeployment meetings are over and decisions are needing to be made for travel after we leave. I'm still up in the air with solid plans, but with a month and a half to go it seems odd to be jumping the gun. In any case, I'll be sure to make at least safe decisions, if not fun one's.

Chris